Thursday, May 10, 2007

Paris Hilton is creeping me out.

I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything.
-Paris Hilton

So for the last week, the young and hapless Miss Hilton has resurfaced in the media for a new bit of notoriety. She apparently hadn't realized that he driver's license was suspended--a fairly common thing when one is convicted of alcohol-related reckless driving. But you can't blame her...she has people who read for her. Anyhow, she was sentenced last Friday to 45 days in county jail for violating her probation.

I, for one, am a big fan of prison exploitation films. I recommend she shoot "the Simple Life" from there. She'd gain at least one viewer.

But prison fantasy scenarios aside, the thing that has amused and terrifed me most about the Hilton situation is the statment she made to the judge as part of her plea for clemency. She's "going to pay complete attention to everything." I, for one, believe her. I'm fairly certain I saw her peering in through my bedroom windows last night. Creepy.

Creepier, still because my bedroom is on the second floor. Does she carry a ladder around? Or has she developed the power of independant flight along with her new ominpresence? How far can this go? I don't know if the world is ready for an omnipotent Paris Hilton.

Of course, if there was an ominipotent/omnipresent Paris Hilton, perhaps I could have called on her to clear up a little traffic situation this morning that made me late for work. Some doofus driving a flatbad towtruck had stopped his truck in my side of a 2 lane road. He managed to stop the truck just short of a busy T-intersection, so there was a lot of oncoming traffic, so it was very difficult to go around this guy.

What was particularly curious was that they had a motorcycle up on the flat bed, and there were two hipster-type guys up there checking it out. They weren't your usual towtruck driver types. I don't know what they were doing...they weren't moving the truck...that's all that mattered to me. I suppose the truck may have been broken down. But that doesn't explain why both the guys were up there.

It really started my day off badly. Where the hell were you, Paris? I don't think she would have stood for such an affront to her commute.

4 comments:

Chris said...

Why oh why is this person a celebrity? I was spending a night in Miami a few years ago and was booked at the Hilton hotel for a night. My disdain for this chick is so burned in my brain that I kept having a mental block as to what hotel I was staying in. To the point that I attempted to check into the Hyatt in error. Even looking at my confirmation page that I had printed out, my brain changed the word Hilton into Hyatt. Perhaps I need therapy.

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

basest said...

Chris...I don't know. She's not particulalry talented or beautiful. Doesn't seem to be all that good at sex, if the video was any indication. She's full of herself.

but...she's rich. and that's something, i guess.

Rodrigo...thank you for the opportunity to buy a personalized t-shirt from you in portuguese (I think). If all my spam was in portuguese, I'd learn how to ask for penis enlargement pills then next time I was in Brazil.

The Moon Topples said...

Basest: She is paying attention to everything. She simply chooses not to intervene.