Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Forgive me, blogger, for I have sinned...'s been 26 days since my last posting.

Many things can be ignored or otherwise neglected for a period of 26 days with few to no consequences. Unpaid bills might pile up, but you don't go into collections until at least 3 months. The lawn might begin to look untidy, and one's personal appearance might as well.

But there are a few things in one's life that if left neglected, can lead to somewhat dire circumstances. For instance, one's children. Or fish. Either of these could die if ignored for such an extended length of time.

One's spouse or significant other would probably not die of neglect, assuming she (or he) was capable of caring for herself. On the other hand, she might not be there when you come back. And she might be upset about the kids.

And I suppose that a sexually active woman might notice if she missed her period by 26 days. It might motivate her to drive to the local pharmacy or grocery store and purchase a pregnancy test.

I happened to drive up to the liquor entrance to the Woodman's Grocery Story near my home and saw a curiously shaped object on the ground in the parking lot as I exited my car. I knew instantly what this thing was. I've seen at least three of them in my lifetime.

Curious, I approached. Closer inspection confirmed my suspicion. It was a home pregnancy test, and it had been used. I was thankful that the results side was exposed. I wasn't looking forward to touching an object that I was certain had been in contact with someone else's urine. But I also knew that my curiousity would not be satisfied unless I was able to share in the joy or despair of the human being with whom I was now connected in this unusual way.

The photo is terrible. It's taken with my cellphone's camera. However, what is clear is the line that indicates that the test was positive. For my new friend, whoever/wherever she may be, I hope that postive is a good thing.

I wonder if she'll name it after me?


The Moon Topples said...

I have pretended that you intended this as a Phoctober post, and linked you accordingly. Now try to post more often, willya?

Chris said...

Have no fear Mr Scribblings I too have neglected my blog sadly. Life gets in the way, work is chaos and I've been stricken down with the worst flu blug I've ever had (6 days and counting).

Does it please you to know now I feel guilty because of your post and will next go and update my own blog even though I feel like hell?


basest said...

Happy Phoctober. I might actually do a "real" phoctober post before this is done.

chris. yes. I am pleased. now go and sin no more.

Minx said...

Most stories are conceived on the premise of 'what if' - I think you have a ready-made baby here.

Taffiny said...

I thought that was a fairly odd shaped fall leaf, pale too.

Call me a priss (but not to my face) I would have preferred a negative test. I mean what did this woman do, pee on the thing on the side of the street, read the results and then give the pee stick the old heave ho? I remember it being hard to throw the test away, when I found out I was pregnant (with my son). I took a photo of it, and then I put it gently, in a trash can, in my house. I did enjoy your post however.

basest said...

minx...i have no response. possibly a perfect comment on your part.

taffiny. i'd never call you a priss (not to your face, anyway). i, too, tried to imagine the sequence of events. It's possible that she peed on the stick in the store's bathroom, then carried it out to the car with her...but I prefer to view it as this weird, almost feral moment when she came out of the store thinking that she'd make it home with the test, but had to know RIGHT NOW so she barely had time to throw her other purchases into the car--you know, the cumquats, bread and US Weekly magazine she bought to make the purchase of the pregnancy test seem like less of a big deal--and hiked up her skirt (because she was thinking ahead and didn't wear pants) and peed on the thing. The fact that she left it on the ground does NOT indicate that she was pleased with a positive result.

My wife had similar difficulties to you, throwing away the pregnancy tests each time she became pregnant. Even the third time, when it was a completely unplanned surprise. In fact, I'm pretty sure we still have at least one of them floating around. The next time I come across them, I'm going to photograph them, then dispose of them properly. I never thought of that before. Thanks for the tip.

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